Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
