Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
