just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
