; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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