The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
