New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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