I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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