It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
