So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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