Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize