So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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