i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
