That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
