? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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