question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
