Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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