I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
