took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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