SEEEEXXX PLEASE
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
