talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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