what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
