My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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