I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
