He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize