u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
