dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
