he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
