Are we in a gay sports bar?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want a musical about memes.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
