The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
