My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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