come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
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