the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
