I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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