I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
