how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize