It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize