you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
