Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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