D3 body, D1 cock
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
