I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
