I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
