Buhtt sex?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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