doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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