Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
