you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize