It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
