Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
