I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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