windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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