carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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