It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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