we're blogging at a bar
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
