There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
