my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize