New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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