i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
