that's an acceptable place to lick
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
