I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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