oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
