Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
