Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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